An ode to wet wings and new identity
beauty protected by the chrysalis of almost-emergence; more beautiful than you'd ever imagine
it feels confusing to know what I'm
holding on to
what I need and want to let go of
like I'm at a stop light and it's turned green
so i can go
but i can't remember how to move forward
stuck.
stagnant.
unmovable
like I'll be in this place forever
getting heavier
and more permanently sunk into this experience of not being able to move
to let go of what was
to move into what is
what is becoming
and what is becoming is also beautiful
who I am becoming
like a butterfly
how cliche
yet perfect
to see and know the way I feel
everything is dark in the cocoon
beauty protected by the chrysalis of almost-emergence
the scary part
who will I be
how will I look
to the world when I emerge from the safety of darkness
when I empty myself from the place I was held for so long
held
helped
formed
deconstructed
repaired
decorated by the magic of time
and healing
encapsulated by the depth of shadow
and surrender
we do not become the butterfly
without the surrender
without the ability for caterpillar to let go of who caterpillar was to the world
to inch along
across branches
and leaf covered ground
caterpillar knows what it's like to be stationed upon the safety of earth
the vulnerability of moving slow
and being present with the reality of munching leaves and crossing moss covered stumps
caterpillar knows what it knows
and innately knows when it is time to hang up its old identity
to become anew
and that does not happen overnight
as the caterpillar sheds its final skins
a chrysalis forms
indulging into a deep and dramatic transformation of complete break down and reorganization of self
this takes 7 to 14 days
the butterfly, no longer known as caterpillar to the world
emerges with wet wings
and new identity
pumping fluid to its new parts
they expand and dry
and so begins the expansion into flight
and a brand new perspective of living
no longer stuck to the outlook from ground
and now, soaring with the ability to see from above
to spin around
and land upon flowers
and the hands of humans waiting
to be touched by the magic
the reminder of what we can become;
without caterpillar
we do not know butterfly
without shedding we do not transform
without surrender we risk stagnancy
and without patience we do not have the ability to become new in our perspectives
7 days
7 years
as caterpillars need 7 day cycles to be broken down and reorganized into their new selves
humans experience cycles of 7 years
in astrological terms this comes from saturn
the planet of rules and deep transformation
the teacher who won't let you stay stuck in your old ways
the principal who says you can do better
you were made to expand
you were created to fly
much like caterpillar
you cannot see it now
the way you'll emerge with wild wings
more beautiful than you'd ever imagine
you'll become stagnant for a while
stuck in what feels like a place you cannot move forward
or backward
like a stoplight that's turned green
but you don't know how to go
trapped in a place of paralyzing darkness
you might feel completely lost
disconnected from your body
and mind
like looking into a mirror reflects back to you someone you cannot recognize
and that is okay
that is transformation
the difference between humans and butterflies
is that we don't often have seven days or seven years to hibernate inside of the darkness of cocoon
we have no chrysalis protecting us from our own eyes that take in our shifting
the deconstruction and reconstitution happens right in front of us
as we morph
it can scare us
because we see how we change
and butterflies don't live in a society where they have been taught to look at their flaws and perfections in a mirror everyday
so as you change dramatically
over seven years
or seven days
or seven weeks or months
you may fear the shift of who you are becoming
it is scary to change
but you are becoming
more beautiful than you could ever imagine
your perspective is changing
you are rising
surrender to the mystery of god's doing
as god's plan is far more abundant
beautiful
and aligned for you than you could ever imagine from the perspective of caterpillar
when you become butterfly
you will see anew
